Quoting an older poem-
Can not giving up be an indication of courage?
Or would such ‘valorous’ parlance amount to sacrilege?
Will getting through this be an act of bravery?
Or will I be another insipid victim of millennial slavery?
Can mere survival be considered a fight?
Or am I wrong in paraphrasing queries so trite?
For the answers I thank the overwhelmingly generous darth elmo who nominated me for The Valiant Blogger Award (which is, of course, my first nomination).
I’m also grateful to Liz for having thought of this whole idea.
Thank you for reminding me that even though the presence of challenges in one’s life is ordinary, overcoming them isn’t.
HERE ARE THE RULES FOR THIS AWARD :
- Post the award on your blog.
- Provide a link to the Hall of Valor (click on this to find a beautifully motivational blog and other insightful observations)
- In 200 words or less, share about the greatest challenge in your life and how you got though it
- Give one piece of advice to people who are struggling with something in their life.
- Thank the person who nominated you and nominate a new blogger for the award.
Rule 3 caught me off guard because I am yet in the process of overcoming the greatest challenge in my life. I hope to be able to leave it behind one day.
Hence, I will bend the rules a bit and talk about the one challenge that I have gotten through.
My challenge was to not pester my father to play with me on the rare days that he was home, to think of a subject when friends talked about the homework that their father helped them with, to stop “dirtying” his briefcase with stupid cards and preposterous handsels , make excuses to my teacher as to why his signature wasn’t on my report card, not log into Facebook on fathers’ day, read the initial chapters of A Thousand Splendid Suns, explain to guests how an urgent meeting cropped up on (all) my birthday(s). His unavailability- literal and emotional, was my challenge.
I believed I was deprived of my father’s love(or even just attention) because I didn’t deserve it ; lacked something that other kids had. I needed to be better. I needed to try more.
Today, however, I feel nothing but indifference. Partly because of his own actions, and partly because I have reached the end of my journey to acceptance. Acceptance of the absence. Acceptance of the fact that I need to learn ways of dealing with this void rather than attempt to fill it.
If you remotely relate to any of this, my seemingly unconventional advice to you will be-
Give up trying to prove your worth. Give up finding faults in yourself. Give up justifying anyone‘s hurtful behavior. Give up searching for signs of an attachment which never was. Give up lamenting over an absence which never was preceded by a presence. Give up regretting everything you are missing out on. Give up believing others have it all.
I nominate one of my very first (and few) followers who encouraged me to write when both, the words and I were lost in the whirlpool of challenges- unauthoredtext