Saudade

You’re miles away and I want to portray that I’m finding my way alright through the day but I do go astray and begin to sway to the rhythm of over- -powering waves of longing, stretching like the limbs of a ballerina blinded by the beauty in the inevitable tragedy of  her lover’s melody. There…

Happier. Freer. Lighter.

The obligation to float elegantly somewhere between overdressed and underdressed, every time I step out of my house.. The obligation to laugh off a rude comment sent my way.. The obligation to be polite and not speak up when an acquaintance makes a homophobic joke.. The obligation to appear like I didn’t cry the previous…

A Writer’s Block? I Wouldn’t Say.

A writer’s block it isn’t. It’s low self esteem. It’s guilt ridden procrastination. It’s the comfort in inactivity. It’s a fear of not being good enough. It’s hesitation to put myself up for judgement. It’s a loss of faith in my words and abilities. It’s a desire to be better without practice. It’s a frustration…

Writer’s Block.

Or is this a woeful excuse framed to garner useless advice and heartless sympathy?

Why I Write

I write because, unlike people, blank screens and papers do not get hurt when the pain spills out.

A Conversation Between Me And My Mind

One day I’m smiling and happy- genuinely, not pretending. The next day too I am upbeat and I sing and dance and talk to people and think that I’m getting better. I feel I will see the light.  It’s crystal clear. I can see the light right there. I am tempted to quicken my pace…

Exam Tomorrow 

I don’t really vent here on my blog, but for lack of poetic inspiration…and more because of the lack of somebody (who would believe me) who I can shout all of this out to…. I had a four day gap for my examination in my favourite subject. The first day was spent on my bed,…

You Can Fall Only When You’re At A Height

Incosequential incidents seem like a push to topple me off the cliff. My mother took me for a short drive today. She had to withdraw money from the ATM. She opened the door of the car. My mother got down. At the same time, a motorbike zoomed past. My heart fell off the cliff. “MUMMAA!!”…

A Secret Desire

I love to talk about my emotions but I can’t talk about my emotions. I have always wanted to talk about how I feel. Talk about what lifts me and what pulls me down. Talk about things that I have written- why I used a specific word and what my obscure sentences hide. Talk about…

Chalk on Canvas and Stars in Daylight 

the sky is so clouded tonight, it looks like a blackboard with wishes once scribbled in chalk but now smudged away by a foul smelling rag; nothing left but chalk particles here and there which shine now, shine now like stars in the dark making a constellation  of wishes now smudged away, smudged away by…

After Innumerable Nightmares, A Soul Satisfying Dream

I was sitting next to him, on the floor- the platform between the stairs and the door that opened to the terrace. arms- wrapped around crossed legs as if such body language would cross out the feelings within.. fingers- clasping, only to unclasp again.. heart- fluttering and flapping only to remember that it had been…

The Worst Thing About Depression 

it takes away motivation to wake up in the morning to open your eyes when you’re awake to get out of bed when eyes are open to bathe when you’re out of bed to turn off the shower when youre bathing to find clothes when youre done to eat something when you’re dressed to not…