Farewell?

I have not been writing lately. What I have been writing, I have not been posting here.. Maybe this blog is dying a natural death.. I had started it when I was at my lowest.. In depression, alone and with a shattered heart I am faring well now.. In high spirits, and the guy who…

Happier. Freer. Lighter.

The obligation to float elegantly somewhere between overdressed and underdressed, every time I step out of my house.. The obligation to laugh off a rude comment sent my way.. The obligation to be polite and not speak up when an acquaintance makes a homophobic joke.. The obligation to appear like I didn’t cry the previous…

A Writer’s Block? I Wouldn’t Say.

A writer’s block it isn’t. It’s low self esteem. It’s guilt ridden procrastination. It’s the comfort in inactivity. It’s a fear of not being good enough. It’s hesitation to put myself up for judgement. It’s a loss of faith in my words and abilities. It’s a desire to be better without practice. It’s a frustration…

The Worst Thing About Depression 

it takes away motivation to wake up in the morning to open your eyes when you’re awake to get out of bed when eyes are open to bathe when you’re out of bed to turn off the shower when youre bathing to find clothes when youre done to eat something when you’re dressed to not…

Yearning For Breathlessness

When  the heart stops  melting  into tearful rivers  to help me  find solace  lying  on their riverbed,  the mind  starts digging pools so I can submerge  temporarirly  in that haimish inundation  once again.

“Why Poetry?” he asked. I said…

when it’s all too much to be expressed in simple sentences when you’re done with people and their pretenses when between proclaiming and hiding love you are torn when you doubt whispered promises- a hundred times sworn when the rose is not enough for lovers forlorn when heartbreak grows larger than the prick of a…

An Unanticipated Return

I think I forgot but it all comes back The memories come back- Your words Our messages Your jokes Our songs Your socks Our places Your smile Our glances Along with them, come back- My letters Unsent My confessions Unspoken My pleas Unheard My love Unrequited Everything comes back like iridescent blobs when I close…

Such Was My Love

The specks of dust which shone like stars Only when the sun rays sieved through ; The meandering crimson in the sky- soaking daylight Only to announce the arrival of another lapis night ; The whimsical falling star Only losing itself to the glint in the eye of a wishful child ; –such was my…

Nothing.Everything

I stood there Seeing everything, Feeling nothing. The sky clear The breeze soft, The ground cold The leaves scattered. But then there was a Moment For I had stayed the same For far too long, waiting for it All to push me over the edge And when it finally did, nothing Happened. 
 But I…

Questions

The pit of my stomach, My legs half dangling, My motionless body, The damp pillow, My swollen eyes, This drab room, My sunken spirit, These uncombed hair, My lost motivation, All this wasted time, My guilt and pretentious laugh, False reassurances and raw wounds, All ask in unison Can mere survival be considered a fight?…

A Search For Nepenthe

I’m lost in the sea of grief.. so deep that i know no longer which way is up and which down… i’m climbing stairs.. but I know not whether they ascend or descend into the whirlpool that i often talk about. Too little grief means not enough time as i’m hurriedly trying to smile while…